Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The First Step To Getting Your Ex Wife Back

Author: Julie Campbell

In order to convince your ex lover that it’s not over and you want to rebuild your relationship with her, you need to let her know that you still care. The first step for rebuilding a relationship with your ex girlfriend, your ex wife, or your ex partner is to communication with her.

The following are a few suggestions on how you can effectively and positively restart communication and reach out to your ex to get your girlfriend or wife back.

Don’t wait for your ex to contact you – Be the bigger person and don’t wait for your ex lover to make the first move, because it may never happen. After you have been separated for a week or two, give her a quick call, or send a short email to say a friendly “hello” and ask her how she is doing. By taking this first step to contact her, you let her know that you care and are still thinking about her.

Communication is not something you should rush! – Once you establish communication, take it slow and work on sharing the communication by inviting her to contact you, or set up a time when it would be best to call her. Don’t phone your ex wife 50 times a week and leave messages on her answering machine, or inundate your ex girlfriend with email messages. You also shouldn’t show up frequently at her place of work, or “coincidentally” run into her in the shopping mall, grocery store, coffee shop, etc.

Too much contact does not only make you appear desperate, which is very unappealing, it is also very annoying. The last thing you want to do is irritate your ex further, as this will only resurface negative emotions and create an even bigger tear in your relationship.

Make yourself available – Let your ex lover know that you are open to communication and are readily available to talk. You must make it clear to her that you are not pressuring her, but that you are there for her when she needs you.

Work on positive communication – Positive communications primarily means you shouldn’t play the blame game, or rehash any of the negative emotions you feel which can lead to arguments. However, positive communication also means that you shouldn’t be pushy when attempting your getting back with ex goal.
Communications need to be progressive not aggressive. You need to let your ex wife know that you still love her and want to be with her, and tell her why you believe your relationship is worth another shot. You also need to let her know that you are willing to compromise and make changes to better meet her needs.

Be wary of other people’s advice – Although your friends and family mean well, sometimes their communication recommendations to help win back the heart of your ex girlfriend / wife will only drive her farther away. In order to reach the heart of your ex, you need to let your own heart guide you. You are beyond the point of sending gifts and flowers. Now is the time to be unique, creative, and personal. Remember what she loves about you, and use this to your advantage.

A breakup does not mean the end of a relationship. Relationships end when both lovers agree it is time to move on separately with their lives. Thus, you need to open up positive communications and make your feelings known to your ex lover before you lose your chance of getting back with ex altogether.

For more information visit:
http://www.myexback.com/exwife.htm